Happiness And Heartbreak

Happiness and Heartbreak

There are those certain people in life that are so special, so important, so integral to your journey, that upon reflection, rather than solid memories coming to the surface, a heavy swirling in the chest is conjured. 

The recollections of those special few, are so much deeper than mere memories. When they revisit our thoughts, it’s less like static pictures in the past, and more like a fluid essence in the present.

The memories are there, but they are so incomplete in their nature, so insufficient in conveyance, so inadequate in capturing, that they are abandoned. Instead, they live, as a feeling to be sought, a thought to be desired, a love to be chased.

There are those few memories that remain pure, untouched by our conscious thoughts, unflawed by our imperfect analysis, and unsullied by our biased desires. 

The purest recollection of these experiences are not at our command. We cannot conjure them at will. When they do come, they come unsuspected and fall on us like the first drops of a rainstorm. Or the first flakes of a snowfall. 

I prefer it this way. Rather than searching for memories, like files in a cabinet, they appear to us of their own volition, with their own message, of their own timing. 

A beautiful surprise. Not reminding us of a distant moment in the past, but rather allowing us to relive one in the here and now.

A gift, not of our own making.

A second chance at a first experience.

These are my memories of Monica…

Happiness and Heartbreak.