PRISON YARD BEEF

Today I sat down at a table on the prison yard with a friend of mine. We faced the basketball court and started to discuss the books we were reading…almost immediately a lively exchange jumped off behind us.

Old inmate: You ain't talking bout shit!

Young inmate: Whatcha gonna do nigga?!

Old Inmate: I'll show u what I'm gonna do! I'm gonna beat the snot outta yo face! I even got a tissue for yo ass!

The older inmate was clearly getting the better of this exchange, probably from years of experience hyping fights.

Young Inmate: Fuck u nigga!

Old Inmate: OH its gonna get REAL DIRTY in this bitch!

Old Inmate: Don't do that! Don't do that! U just gonna make me real mad nigga!

Old Inmate: I wish a muthafucka would! I wish a muthafucka would do that!

Young Inmate: U ain't shit nigga.. aint nobody worried bout u!

Clearly the shit was about to hit the fan. In the joint u don't want to draw attention to an altercation by turning and staring... so we sat facing the basket ball game, and listened.

Old Inmate: Here we go! I'm taking all this shit away!

Young Inmate: U ain't got shit popping!

Old Inmate: U know what I got popping?! U know what I got popping?!

Old Inmate: I GOT THIS POPPIN!..... CHECK!

That's when I realized that they weren't about to fight... they were playing chess... prison style chess.

Anything in here can be done with ridiculous aggression.

There is a quilting class here. Its euphemistically called "quilting for a cause" I've never been but I like to think that there's someone over there shit talking while quilting : "U see this hook stitch bitch?! U can't quilt like this nigga!"

Other quilter: "U can't sew shit!!"