A Prison Message Of Love
Well, another holiday is approaching and I didn't get you anything.
No flowers.
No chocolates.
No card.
No dinner.
No spa day.
No fancy jewelry.
I can't even give you a hug today.
All of these things you deserve ten fold and someday, whether you'd prefer it or not, I will be able to shower you with all them. This I promise. But right now this is all I got. I hope you like it:
---------------------------Judy Ann: A Love Story for MOM.---------------
Somewhere around the time that the 70's were giving way to a new decade. In the last months of 1979, to be more accurate, two young and excited hearts danced. It wasn't the longest song but the music was unique. And those two different personalities, from two different worlds, with their lives ahead of them and their hopes grand with the hubris of youth, had a moment together. The momentum of their briefly intertwined paths tumbled forward, fusing into creation.
On July 31st 1980, with no care for their plans or expectations a completely new energy sprouted between them. This new energy was not only between them but also of them and though it was entirely new, it wasn't entirely separate.
This is the day Judy became a mother. A day that all other mothers should have rued for what would eventually be the dimming of their stars in the presence of her shine.
There she was, still a kid herself, and a single mother in the city of Detroit with a ten pound bowling ball with slanty eyes, a lopsided head, and an ever increasing appetite. She never had it easy, not as long as I can remember anyway. But she never complained and she almost always made it look easy.
Her son, the boy who made her earn the title of MOM, was a lot of things but easy or simple were never the word used to describe him. He would grow up with all kinds of flaws and short comings, and none that I can think of were her fault, except maybe one.
As he got older he became cynical. He felt almost constantly let down by, first, the adults around him, then by his peers, and finally even society failed to live up his expectations.
You might ask how this was her fault. Let me tell you.
It was by no means her intention but she set a level of expectations in the young boy that could never be met. And as he moved through life he was constantly reminded of the failures of the fruit to live up to the potential of the roots they sprouted from.
He assumed that all women were just as strong as his mother. Able to hold down multiple jobs and provide the food and shelter and clothing, and everything that he needed, without ever complaining, without ever feeling sorry for herself.
He wrongly assumed that all adults were thoughtful and intelligent people. He thought this because she always explain the things he had questions about. And if she happened to not have an answer to something, she would figure it out with him, leading him along with patience, critical thinking, and logic.
He imagined that everyone was humble because of the way she could admit mistakes, deflect compliments, and praise others.
He thought everyone must have a sense of humor because of the way she could laugh at herself and find humor in almost everything.
He figured that everyone was compassionate because of the way he saw her treat people. She always tried to point out what someone else's point of view might be, before acting self righteous, even when she could have. Like an alchemist, he saw her use empathy to transmute anger into compassion. When he would cover the hurt he felt because his father abandoned them she would tell him that his father was just a scared kid with pressure from his family and insecurities. She would tell him that it wasn't because he didn't love him. She would give him all kinds of reasons not to hate his father, even if it might've been what he deserved.
He naively thought that everyone was loyal because of the way she always had his back, as long as he was right, no matter who she had to stand up to, or what they had to go through. Because for as long as he can remember it was the two of them against the world.
He thought that everyone had virtue because she would stand up for what was right, even if it was unpopular.
He thought that when he got older that everyone would be a free spirit not held down by the opinions of others because she was a rad punk rock chick who wasn't afraid to express herself.
He stupidly thought that everyone was open minded because she was never afraid to try new things, like getting tattoos, or riding motorcycles. Because she never looked down on people just because they were different. And she was always eager to learn new things.
And maybe his most naive assumption was that everyone had a mom as special and amazing as his.
He was wrong.
He was wrong about all of these things, but if you asked him today if he'd change any of it he'd emphatically tell you NO.
Because even though the adults turned out to not live up to his mom's example, because his peers could certainly not come close, and because society in general failed to reach the amazing qualities she seemed to exhibit so effortlessly, she did teach him that all of these things are POSSIBLE.
Just by being herself, she gave him an ideal to strive towards...and when he feels especially frustrated, disheartened, and cynical he can hear her voice telling him to be more understanding, to be more loving, to be more compassionate...he sees that it's possible to be better. And has all the tools to work towards the example that she set.
And for that, and a million other reasons, he loves her to death and wants her to know what she truly means to him. He owes everything that he is and ever will be to this lady, and while the rest of the world can call her by any name they want, he's proud to call her MOM...
MOM!!!! I LOVE YOU XOXO.