The Synchronicity Of James Allen

One of my favorite sayings is that when searching with purity the universe will unfold to meet you.

I have Buddhist service once a week. For the past four years I've meditated in my cell and so I had no need to go to any specific service to do so. However once I was moved to this prison, which has no cells but instead open eight man cubes, I had to adapt my meditative practice. I had to sign up for the Buddhist call out. I don't consider myself a full fledged Buddhist by any means, but in my defense I don't consider myself anything specific when it comes to spirituality, though Buddhism aligns with most of the truths that I've discovered to govern my life by.

After going to service a few times, and getting the chance to meditate once a week, I was able to see the need for this new outlet. The service and the limited meditation wasn't the only help that the universe was offering. Well in a way it was. Let me explain. Going to service was the first experience that I had with a sangha, or spiritual community. It was another layer of practice that I had read about but never taken part in. The group was/is small, three to five people, out of twelve hundred inmates. 

Service is held in a plain room in the back of the prison school building. Upon my arrival a humble shrine was set up and incense was smoldering. Great pains were taken to secure the religious rights of Buddhism in prison; an inmate named Kensu, who I was with at another facility, had to sue the MDOC for the same religious rights that the more mainstream religions are afforded. Eight blue double stacked high school style lockers lined the wall. Each locker had a piece of masking tape with the name of the service scrawled in permanent marker: Christian, Nation of Islam, Native American, Buddhist, and a few others. A wall mounted TV sat above the lockers and three mint green yoga mats lay curled up on the floor. That is the extent of our temple. As far as I'm concerned it’s perfect. Amenities can be stumbling blocks if you become convinced of their necessity in reaching a goal, especially in spiritual matters.

The first service I attended there were just three of us. Me, Jericho, and Bella/Tone. Jehrico runs the service. He is a devout and knowledgeable Buddhist. A dark skinned man of small stature in his early sixties but could pass for a much younger man in his forties. He's been down (incarcerated) for nearing thirty years. Bella was being trained by Jericho to perform the rituals of service and the setting up of the alter. In prison culture Bella is termed a 'sissy' meaning he has effeminate qualities and makes no attempt at hiding them. I know this term is super politically incorrect and in no way do I use it in a derogatory manner. It’s just the term used in here, so don't put any postage on that hate mail just yet. I have no problem with the sissies  in prison. In a way its refreshing to see someone in here just being themselves with little to no concern of the opinion of others. I'm much more concerned with the character and heart of a person than the superfluous aspects of who they appear to be. And Bella/Tone is a good person.

Bella is in my unit and I'd seen him frequently but we'd never spoken. Though I have no problem with Bella's lifestyle, to pretend that optics don't matter in a place like this can be problematic to say the least. 

There are 160 people in each unit. Like it or not that's nearly 160 gossipy, nosey, immature, judgmental roommates. Everything you do informs your identity in here. Everyone is just waiting to put you in a nice, simple, often inaccurate, little box. 

If you wear your shower shoes on the walk to the shower, you are: ill-prepared and lazy. The idea being that it’s difficult to fight in shower shoes.

If you associate with dope fiends you are labeled as such. Your credit takes a hit as as well as your respect.

If you hang around with sissies you are assumed to be gay and treated as a pariah. If you are a part of an organization, you will at the very least be stripped and shunned, but you will much more likely be stabbed off the yard. Now this doesn't just happen from small interactions or minimal verbal interactions. Though they are treated as suspicious behaviors and sometimes that's just enough to be labeled.

My awareness of the optics and the unnecessary problems that labels can conjure have dictated much of my actions in prison. For a majority of my time behind bars I've held a pragmatic approach to the way I carry myself. It’s all been a calculated risk vs. reward. 

Can I fight better barefoot by simply kicking off my shower shoes if need be? Yes, but I wear my state shoes to the shower and carry my shower shoes in my hand. As to not portray any lax behavior or vulnerability. Also a rule if you're part of an organization.

Would I have liked to get high frequently in here? For a time the answer was yes, but I refrained because of the consequences, the stigma, and the cost. Also an organizational rule. Though by far the most overlooked of all rules.

Do I have an aversion or problem with someone labeled a 'sissy'? Absolutely not, but once again I avoided any unnecessary interaction. Another risk vs. reward decision.

Attending service I learned more about the technical aspects of a Buddhist practice. I’ve Iearned to appreciate its value. But, as usual, the lessons and value were in more than just the practice of the service. They were in the connections and opportunities, that attending the service, opened up. 

The one meditation a week, that service provided, allowed me to center myself just enough to adjust my perspective. I asked Jericho about how he was able to maintain a steady meditative practice in a cube setting. I couldn't see a solution. He told me that he wakes up early in the morning before breakfast and while all of his cubbies are sleeping he meditates. Contrary to my belief: that a morning meditation wouldn't work for me. I decided to give it a try. And after a sincere effort I made amazing progress.

Once again, I had been shaken out of the assumptions that I allowed to shape my reality. I had convinced myself, that because of the shitty sleep quality in prison that I would be too drowsy to do a morning meditation. I now realize that this assumption came, in part, from a preference for ease and comfort. I never 'had' to practice a morning meditation, so out of a desire for ease, I was able to convince myself that an afternoon meditation was more practical and a better fit for me. I came to believe that a morning meditation just wasn't an option for me. 

I allowed this belief to keep me from any real meditative practice for over a month. I just accepted the fact that I couldn't meditate here, with this little privacy and with this many people around. Which wasn't a fact at all. At least not until I made it one by succumbing to the thought as reality. 

And as usual one small step, made with purity and in the right direction, was met with a cleared path. With this new practice I made much progress. I rededicated myself to an even more robust and invigorated routine. To which the Universe always unfolds to meet you.

Walking back from service one day Bella asked me if I had any Buddhist books that he could borrow. I told him no. Which was technically true, I didn't have any strictly Buddhist books anymore. I'd left the ones I had with friends at the last prison I was at. But I was avoiding him using a technicality as an excuse.

Later that night, that voice that I speak so frequently of, cleared its throat, to say: "you have a book that has shown you so much and spoken to you directly on your path. the same path that Bella is on. You need to give it to him." Call it what ever you want; your True voice, your Conscience, God, the Universe. Whatever. It’s the voice that I've been becoming more and more attuned to throughout my higher journey. A voice that I’ve come to feel (it’s not an actual 'voice' it communicates through a feeling in the pit of my chest) more clearly and in turn follow its guidance. I found Bella and told him that I had a book for him called 'Polishing the Mirror' by Ram Dass. I told him that it wasn't strictly Buddhist but it did touch on the common truths in all religions. 

Just before the last count of the night, I went down to his cube. Which is on the other side of the unit. A place that I'm not supposed to be and would be noticeably out of place by the cops and other inmates. I stopped in front of his cube and we talked about the book for a few minutes before I gave it to him. 

I'm not saying that I'm a hero who stepped down and showed pity and mercy to a lesser person. Quite the opposite. I just stopped giving in to my lower desires and fears of acceptance and security. These trivial things would no longer prevent me from being the person I'm working to become. Or from neglecting a fellow person on the path for some enlightenment.

A few days later someone came to my cube and said "Tone is looking for you." 'Tone' is Bella's given name and everyone refuses to call him anything other than 'Tone' or 'sissy'. I guess Tone is the better of the two.

I went to his side of the unit and he said "I got a book I want you to smoke over." He handed me a massive book with "Mind is the Master" printed in bold letters on the front. Immediately I internally rolled my eyes. Because of the title, I assumed it to be some new age self-help bullshit that could offer me little to no insight. But as I've said before "The Universe is a motherfucker!" It’s not that it cares nothing for your preconceived notions. On the contrary, it uses them to wake you up. To slap you on the back of the head.

With nothing planned for the few remaining hours of the night I sat down and cracked the book open. Before I was done with the first few pages, chills ran up my spine. A feeling that NO book has ever elicited in me. Not like that. I laid the opened book face down on the table, to save my page, and immediately tracked down Bella. "Where did you get this book?! How did you come across it?! Who told you about I?!" I rattled off the questions faster than he could answer them. He said "You like it? I thought you'd like it." He emphasized the word "you".

This is a entry I wrote immediately after discovering the work of James Allen, to give you some insight to the impact it had on me: (8/18/17)

“Though I've never previously heard of him, much less read any of his works, I have apparently been plagiarizing the works of James Allen. More accurately, I am rediscovering the same artifacts that he once uncovered on his spiritual journey. In nearly every case, his insights are not just similar in nature and meaning, but are identical to mine.”

This discovery is both incredibly inspiring and somewhat un-motivating. My purpose, of revealing the truths that I've discovered seems to be less necessary now. James Allen has already done much of it, and done it beautifully. The one major difference being; my unique set of extreme experiences and circumstances.

My discovery of the mind and work of James Allen is either a great example, that certain universal truths are internally accessible to all, who doggedly and wholeheartedly pursue them. Or, that reincarnation is real, and I have picked up where I once left off. Either way, a feeling of disheartening inspiration is the result.

Every single thing and every single moment in the universe is synchronistic.

Upon continuing to read the works of Allen I still find myself in awe at the progress he made. And inspired by his ability to document his insights with such a concise clarity. However, any lack of motivation has completely left me. 

In my amazement and joy, at the finding of so many identical discoveries and more importantly, the meanings derived from those discoveries, I was initially overwhelmed. Since then I have come to see many places to build upon his work. To take take it farther and wider, through our differing set of experiences and struggles.

I mention these specific set of events to point to something. Something I have seen occur time and time again: that, when following your intended path, guided by your heart and inline with honesty, humility, and dedication, the Universe will unfold to meet you. I want to show how it will use people, places, and things, made accessible by our choices, to offer aid on the purest of paths. To show, that had I done anything against the truths I have come to, I would have robbed myself of this aid. 

By coming to this prison, the knowledge I came to was put to the test. The knowledge: that my growth isn't limited to the easy or comfortable practices I have become accustomed to. Had I choose to ignore this knowledge I would have admitted defeat and never signed up for service. Where I would never have met Jericho. Who showed me that meditating in a cube setting was possible. 

If I hadn't rededicated myself to an early morning meditation I may have continued to allowed the opinions of others to define me. If I had allowed my actions to be molded by the need for a certain appearance, I would have never spoken to Bella outside of service. I'd have never have given him the Ram Dass book. 

Which in turn I would have never discovered James Allen. A kindred spirit and author, whose path and discoveries are so aligned with mine that I am able to use them as an acceleration in my own progress. Who showed me the importance of a strong and fortified will. Of a solid work ethic dedicated to craft and enlightenment. To make no excuses in the exercise of my craft, which got me to triple my writing output. 

His work helped to confirm where I've been and to plot where I'm going. Hopefully, to places that James Allen didn't have enough time to reach. To a new audience, in a new time, and using a new medium.

If any of the intricate aspects in this story were slightly different. If any of the decisions I was faced with were avoided, or made with a selfish nature, the helpful branches that the universe opened up, would have evaporated.

Pay attention and you will see it everywhere, in everything. Just another chance to witness the strange and miraculous nature of the Universe and its willingness, its purpose, its need, to unfold to meet you. 

This was my experience with the synchronicity of James Allen.